I tried on about thirty pairs and was drowning in pant legs until one pair of "petite-size" jeans called out to me with its dark wash and 2% spandex. They were the first pair to not make me feel like I was playing dress-up in my mom's closet, and then I was intrigued by the affirmations covering the insides of the pockets.
You are beautiful.
You are stunning.
You are glamorous.
You are sexy.
Awfully forward for a pair of pants I'd only just met, but I was vulnerable and alone in that dressing room and at the moment, complimenting me was the way to get into my closet. Also, they were the only pair I wouldn't need to hem up six inches, so I laid my credit card with them in front of the register and never looked back. Until now.
In the spirit of New Year's resolutions, I think I'd prefer a pair of jeans that challenges me to be a better person. Instead of a waist band whose comfort rivals that of my sweatpants, I want that just-out-of-the-dryer fit with every wear. Instead of empty compliments, perhaps helpful reminders and to-do lists.
Taken your daily vitamins yet?
Have you been to the gym lately?
Don't forget to thaw the chicken.
Go easy on that coffee after 4pm.
Is that a trail of toilet paper stuck to your shoe?